Fucking Windows

expect nothing

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Norcal Internet Services

wtf is this??

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Nigerian letter scam for real

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Clients From Hell

Clients From Hell is a great way of spending some lame boring time in an entertaining way.

“A collection of anonymously contributed client horror stories from designers.”

Teaser:

Payment Options

Me: “Ok, the bid is $2,500 what payment schedule works best for you? I can take a deposit of 10% up front and you can pay the balance on delivery OR I can discount the entire project by 10% if you pay the entire bid in advance.”

Client: “Oh, I’ll take the discount and pay it all in advance.”

Me: “Ok, well then I’ll get started just as soon as I receive the payment.”

Client: “Oh, I’ll pay you when it’s done. Don’t you trust me?”

Me: “Oh, I thought you wanted to pay in advance so that you could get the discount.”

Client: “I do! I’ll pay in advance once the job is completed!”

Email from client: I’ve attached an image. Could you make it HD and send it back?

*attached jpeg with dimensions: 32px by 54px*

Client: “[Indian outsourcer] says he can do this site for $200.  Why should I go with you?”

Me: “Has he done any work for you in the past?”

Client: Yeah!  He did [Other Site] for me.

[I load the other site]

Me: “The entire site’s done in Flash.”

Client: “Huh?”

Me: “It’s a site for iPhone users.”

Client: “I know.  Cool, huh?”

Me: “It’s a site for iPhone users… none of whom can see it…”

Client: “Huh?”

Me: “The iPhone doesn’t support Flash.”

Client: “Well it looks fine on my PC!”

Me: “Do you have an iPhone?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “…”

Client: “Tell you what, I’m just gonna go with [Indian outsourcer].  He seems like he knows what he’s doing and I’m not sure you do.”

Me: “Have fun.”

Client: “We really love the design! However, can you make our website less cutting-edge? Our clients aren’t really that good at using the Internet and won’t use all of the bells-and-whistles.”

Me: “What are you referring to specifically?”

Client: “We don’t need the login area. None of our customers will use that.”

Me: “OK, well it is an e-commerce store so I’m not quite sure how you’re going to get paid without being able to identify the client.”

Client: “Well, you’re the designer and you’ve done a great job so far so I’m sure you can figure something out. Look at Google! You don’t have to login to their site and they’re making tons of money!”

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Introducing Opera Face Gestures

At Opera we are always working on new ways to make your browsing faster. Eight years ago we introduced Mouse Gestures as a way to speed up your interaction with the browser and focus on what’s important: the content you’re looking at. We didn’t stop there, in 2005 we introduced Voice Navigation on the desktop and more recently we have worked with Nintendo to create a browser that takes full advantage of the “Wiimote” and later, the touchscreen in the DSi.

Looking ahead, we recognize the future importance of touch interfaces, but we believe that there is another input device that is already present in most new computers and it’s ready to enable a whole new way of user-interaction: the webcam.

Today we introduce Face Gestures, a revolutionary technology designed to make interacting with your browser easier and simpler on computers with cameras. Face Gestures lets you perform frequent browsing operations with natural and easy to make face gestures. By using an internal technology dubbed Face Observation Opera Language, we are able to recognize pre-determined facial expressions and match them to commands on the Opera browser.

wtf?

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